When I find myself amid a challenging experience, I ask myself “Why is this happening to me?” Not in a whiny, wailing kind of way (not anymore that is, believe me, there was a time when I surely would have), but in a genuinely curious way.
I know now that no matter how tough things are for me there is an opportunity for growth and expansion in the experience. And when I don’t know the reason for what’s happening, I hold the intention to know it. It doesn’t have to be right away. I accept that the knowledge or insight may well come in hindsight, and so I do the best I can to deal with the situation while trusting that everything will be alright.
I know when the going gets tough, how I experience the event, how I get through it, depends on me. I am not powerless in my response to the situation. I realise that I need to shift my energy, to align it more with how I'd prefer things to be rather than how they are.
Self-doubt and fear interfere with our ability to achieve or set goals.
Self-doubt and fear are the voices in our head telling us, "You'll never succeed, so why try?" and "who do you think you are?" Self-doubt and fear are also what make us listen to those voices and decide to give up before we get started.
While many people experience self-doubt and fear at some point in their lives, they take action anyway. Others remain stuck or are confident in only one area of their life, such as work. They are too afraid to try new things like going back to school, entering new relationships or learning new skills.
When we let self-doubt and fear rule our lives, we miss opportunities.
We predict and believe that nothing good will happen to us, so we don't try anything new, and refuse to take even low-level risks. This leads us to discount people or situations that could help us reach our goals. While self-doubt and fear can come in different forms and from different sources, we can learn to break through them.
Life is never going to be a smooth ride. It’s going to be peaks and troughs. But our overall level of happiness, our resilience to the tougher experiences, can be a constant.
Every challenging experience is an opportunity to grow and strengthen that resilience, to improve our coping skills and to get more out of life. The contrasts are what enable us to enjoy and appreciate the good stuff. Joy and appreciation attract more of the same in our lives.
“Whenever you’re in the middle of a crisis, stop and say ‘Thank You’, because you know that something better is on the other side.” -- Oprah Winfrey
So, when things are looking a little dark in your life, remember firstly, that this too will pass and secondly that not only will things get better but you will get stronger.
To find the silver lining, keep a conscious lookout for it.
If you need help overcoming feelings of self-doubt and fear, please read these ten techniques and processes that will help: -
1. Make a list of your fears. Only by admitting that they exist can you seek solutions.
2. Write down how these fears affect your life.
3. Become aware of the voices in your head and write down those negative messages.
4. Start building a support system of friends and eliminate people from your life who foster feelings of negativity.
5. Join an online support group of people who have similar issues.
6. Change each negative message to one that is affirming and constructive.
7. Read books that help you feel better about yourself.
8. Be aware of your past, and be willing to let go of it.
9. List your goals and the actions you need to achieve them.
10. Take one of those actions every day. Each time you do something that brings you closer to achieving your goals, you will feel better about yourself.
When fears and self-doubts come back, and they still do, breakthrough them by using the tools and skills above. They really do work.
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